


Beach Party in Paradox Space (Forever a Work in Progress)

by adiosIncineroar



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Paradox Space (Homestuck), beach party, no one is friends, tavros/rufioh bro time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:47:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24829330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adiosIncineroar/pseuds/adiosIncineroar
Summary: Vriska, Eridan, Feferi, and Tavros are dead. Which is the perfect time to finally spend time with their also dead dancestors! At the beach. In Paradox Space.
Kudos: 3





	Beach Party in Paradox Space (Forever a Work in Progress)

**Author's Note:**

> This work is unfinished and will be unfinished forever because I haven't touched it in a year. Just wrote out some character interactions I thought would be fun and sorta ran out of ideas! Still wanted to make it public eventually.  
> Sorry it's formatted this way, originally wrote these in Google docs.

Eight trolls trudge through the hellish heat of some random beach in Paradox Space, clad in beach attire. Though, their expressions say they're having anything but fun.

ERIDAN: ughhh  
ERIDAN: i dont wwanna go to the fuckin beach  
ERIDAN: especially not wwith my sorry excuse for a dancestor  
CRONUS: did you say somethin little man,  
ERIDAN: NO stop talkin to me  
CRONUS: haha alright you funky fella,  
FEFERI: -Eridan, maybe you’d actually enjoy being wit)( your dancestor if you gave )(im a c)(ance?  
ERIDAN: fuck no  
ERIDAN: just look at him  
ERIDAN: hes evven wworse than me  
ERIDAN: dumb bitch evven caught me up in his flirtin endeavvors  
ERIDAN: and can you honestly say youre gettin along with your dancestor either  
FEFERI: Well… no.  
FEFERI: S)(e often t)(reatens to kill me for no reason at all.  
FEFERI: But t)(en s)(e turns around and calls me adorbubble!  
FEFERI: S)(e’s quite the enigma.  
ERIDAN: wwhy wwould you wworry about bein killed by her youre already dead anywway  
FEFERI: If you weren’t already aware, -Eridan, g)(osts can very much die again.  
ERIDAN: wwhat  
ERIDAN: nah that doesnt make any sense  
FEFERI: Ok t)(en, don’t believe me.  
FEFERI: 3>8(  
ERIDAN: stop makin that face at me

Fortunately, at least one pair is enjoying their time at the beach. Two bull horned trolls seem to be the life of the party, smiling and laughing as if nothing was wrong with the situation.

TAVROS: mAN, i REMEMBER THE LAST TIME i, uH, gOT TO FLY THROUGH THE AIR LIKE THAT,  
TAVROS: iT WAS WHEN i GOT PARALYZED FROM FALLING OFF A CLIFF,  
RUFIOH: aw man… that sh*t sucks 1’m sorry to hear that… }:(  
TAVROS: iTS FINE NOW, nOW THAT IM DEAD i FINALLY HAVE MY REAL LEGS BACK,,  
RUFIOH: }:)  
TAVROS: }:)  
VRISKA: Yoooo what’s going on, Toreadorks?  
TAVROS: }:(  
RUFIOH: }:(  
VRISKA: You don’t have to look so disappointed when I’m here!  
TAVROS: wHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE,  
TAVROS: wHY ARENT YOU WITH YOUR DANCESTOR LIKE, uH, eVERYONE ELSE IS,,  
VRISKA: She kept talking my ear off so I left.  
RUFIOH: she does tend to do that 1 guess…  
RUFIOH: 1snt that… a l1ttle rude though?  
VRISKA: Like I care! I’m not afraid to admit she can 8e annoying sometimes.

A little ways away, another pair is complaining. A distraught Aranea pours her heart out to a dear friend, Meenah, who does not care at all about her plight.

ARANEA: Meenah, I’m afraid my dancestor might think I’m annoying. ::::(  
MEENAH: maybe the other serket is right  
MEENAH: u reely do talk a lot to the point where id wanna leave too  
ARANEA: Why do I tell you anything? You’re always so rude a8out this.  
MEENAH: heh sorry  
MEENAH: im also guilty of annoyin my dancestor to the point of her not wantin to talk to me 38(  
ARANEA: Meenah, that’s 8ecause you always threaten to impale her.  
MEENAH: its in a lovin way  
MEENAH: not like u would glubbin understand  
ARANEA: Yes, 8ecause I don’t want to kill my glubbin dancestor.  
ARANEA: I mean, just dancestor.  
MEENAH: hehe yeah  
MEENAH: glub 38)  
ARANEA: I’m never coming to you for advice again.  
MEENAH: aight serket ur loss  
MEENAH: jk thats prob the best decision u could ever make 

The young trolls gather around, to complain some more. Eridan crosses his arms and glares at the bronze blood.

ERIDAN: ugh you nitrams are so fuckin disgustin  
ERIDAN: all buddy buddy and shit  
VRISKA: I know right??  
ERIDAN: howw come you get an actually cool dancestor and i glubbin dont  
TAVROS: i, UH-  
ERIDAN: rhetorical question  
ERIDAN: wwhat about yours vvris  
VRISKA: She can 8e cool, 8ut she talks too much.  
VRISKA: It’s kinda 8oring me to death.  
TAVROS: yOU KNOW, mAYBE, wE SHOULD UH, nOT TALK BEHIND THEIR BACKS,,  
ERIDAN: wwhatevver  
ERIDAN: wwhy should i care wwhat they think of us  
FEFERI: Well since we’re dead and all, we kind of )(ave to spend all of eternity wit)( t)(hem.  
ERIDAN: bullshit  
ERIDAN: i wwont let that happen  
VRISKA: Then what are you gonna do a8out it, c8pe 8oy?  
ERIDAN: i dont fuckin knoww  
ERIDAN: at times like this i alwways resort to killin  
ERIDAN: but wwere already dead so obvviously that wwont wwork  
TAVROS: aRE WE REALLY PLANNING TO KILL OUR ALREADY DEAD DANCESTORS,,  
ERIDAN: no you BULL HORNED FUCK  
ERIDAN: did you not hear wwhat i JUST SAID  
FEFERI: -Eridan! Just calm down and t)(ink t)(is t)(roug)( for once.  
FEFERI: T)(is is basically )(ow we died in t)(e first place.  
FEFERI: We all just run )(eadfirst into a fig)(t we can’t win.  
FEFERI: All of t)(em are clearly more powerful than us anyway.

The dancestors form a huddle of their own, for each to voice their concerns.

CRONUS: ay do you think our dancestors hate us,  
RUFIOH: uh… no?  
ARANEA: Pro8a8ly.  
MEENAH: hehe ye  
MEENAH: what a bunch of brats tbh  
RUFIOH: tavros 1s pretty n1ce to me…  
CRONUS: vwell if you couldnt tell rufioh the rest of these kids hate us,  
RUFIOH: aw that sucks… }:(  
CRONUS: avw shut up you big brute,  
CRONUS: look at them owver there coniwvin and gossipin about us,  
CRONUS: theyre probably plannin to kill us or somethin,  
ARANEA: We’re already dead, though.  
ARANEA: But say that we weren’t dead, we wouldn’t have a pro8lem defeating them in com8at.  
MEENAH: no shit  
MEENAH: did we all forget that were supposed to be goin to the FUCKIN B-EAC)(  
MEENAH: we aint here to fuckin throw down and shit  
MEENAH: were here to have some meaningful time with our dumb bratty dancestors  
RUFIOH: h*ll yeah man }:)  
CRONUS: vwhat,  
CRONUS: vwhere did that ewven come from,  
ARANEA: Yeah, Meenah. Since when did you get so weirdly soppy?  
MEENAH: im not bein fuckin soppy  
MEENAH: i just wanna get this over and done with

And enter... a beach montage.  
The seadwellers stick to the open blue ocean. Cronus is admiring his own reflection in the water, while pressuring Eridan to join him. He doesn't want to get anywhere near him.  
Feferi watches them bicker, while Meenah is fighting the urge to impale her.

FEFERI: C’mon, -Eridan! You practically live in the water, so w)(y won’t you get in now?  
ERIDAN: its because hes in there  
FEFERI: Your dancestor?  
ERIDAN: wwho else  
ERIDAN: im not standin in the same wwater as him  
FEFERI: Ug)(, you are SO glubbin P-ETTY!  
ERIDAN: SHUT UP  
ERIDAN: glub  
ERIDAN: wwhy dont you go in the wwater then  
ERIDAN: you can hang out wwith him in my stead  
FEFERI: Um.  
FEFERI: No.  
ERIDAN: and wwhys that huh  
FEFERI: I don’t want )(im to flirt wit)( me.  
FEFERI: Also  
FEFERI: S)(e’s in t)(ere.  
ERIDAN: ugh you hypocrite  
FEFERI: Your dancestor doesn’t want to KRILL you!  
ERIDAN: krill  
FEFERI: Kill. 38)  
FEFERI: ANYWAY  
FEFERI: Do we agree to just )(ang out out )(ere instead?  
ERIDAN: ye agreed

CRONUS: meenah,  
CRONUS: i think theyre vwalkin avway meenah,  
MEENAH: i can FUCKIN S-E-E THAT cronus  
CRONUS: yeesh ok,  
CRONUS: your intimidatin presence probably scared em avway,  
MEENAH: water u even fuckin talkin about  
MEENAH: ur pervy energy is probably what scared em off  
CRONUS: oh “reely”,  
MEENAH: Y-ES R-E-ELY  
MEENAH: im leavin have fun playin in this shit puddle by urself  
CRONUS: alright piexes,  
CRONUS: i think i vwill,

Tavros and Rufioh continue to enjoy their time at the beach and ignore their wack ass friends. The bros were occupied building a sand castle, though, the ruins of their work are now beneath a triumphant Vriska.

TAVROS: aW MAN,  
TAVROS: wHYD YOU HAVE TO DESTROY THIS SANDCASTLE ME AND MY BRO RUFIOH WERE BUILDING, vRISKA,,  
VRISKA: 8ro? You’re really gonna staple that human concept to Rufioh like that?  
RUFIOH: whats a human…  
VRISKA: It doesn’t matter!  
VRISKA: What matters is all your hard work went down the drain and now I’m happy. ::::)  
ARANEA: Vriska, what did you do now?  
VRISKA: What does it look like I did, Aranea?  
ARANEA: It looks like you, um… destroyed the sandcastle these two were 8uilding.  
TAVROS: }:(  
RUFIOH: }:(  
VRISKA: See, that wasn’t so hard was it?  
VRISKA: So, what are you gonna do? Scold me?  
ARANEA: I could, 8ut something tells me that won’t work.  
ARANEA: You never listen to a thing I say, do you-  
VRISKA: That’s already too many words, Aranea.  
VRISKA: You’re starting to sound like a human mother with all this scolding.  
ARANEA: Wh-  
VRISKA: Anyway, I’m dead so I get to do what I want!  
VRISKA: C’mon, Pupa Piss, let’s ditch these losers and go find some 8uried treasure or some shit!  
TAVROS: uGH, fINE,  
TAVROS: iTS NOT LIKE i HAVE A CHOICE ANYWAY,

By his wrist, Vriska drags Tavros into the jungle. 

TAVROS: wHAT TREASURE ARE WE LOOKING FOR THIS TIME,  
VRISKA: We aren't looking for treasure, Tavros.  
TAVROS: tHEN WHAT ARE WE DOING OUT HERE,  
VRISKA: I don’t fucking know! I just wanted to get away from those lamers.  
TAVROS: rUFIOH ISNT A LAMER,, }:(  
VRISKA: Shut up about Rufioh for one goddamn second!  
VRISKA: Please.  
TAVROS: uH,,  
TAVROS: oK,  
VRISKA: Whew.  
VRISKA: Why is this place so damn hot?  
TAVROS: uH, bECAUSE ITS A BEACH,  
VRISKA: That was a RHETORICAL FUCKING QUESTION, TAVROS.  
VRISKA: You really gotta learn what that means. Rhetorical.

Something rustles in nearby bushes, though it's just the other trolls that fled from their dancestors, Eridan and Feferi.

ERIDAN: huh  
ERIDAN: oh its just you twwo  
FEFERI: )(-ELLO Tavros and Fishka!  
TAVROS: hI,,,  
VRISKA: Yo.  
VRISKA: Did you two escape from your dancestors too?  
FEFERI: You could say t)(at…  
ERIDAN: ye wwe did  
ERIDAN: so are bustin outta here noww  
ERIDAN: because i am so dowwn to just get the fuck outta here  
FEFERI: I am also down to get away from this pacific location.  
TAVROS: pACIFIC,  
FEFERI: Specific. 38)  
VRISKA: I’m starting to reconsider Eridan’s murder plot.  
FEFERI: As I )(ave said before, we are NOT killing anyone today!  
ERIDAN: you cant tell me wwhat to do anymore fef  
FEFERI: W)(atever! You never even listened to me w)(en you were alive.  
FEFERI: T)(ere’s a very easy solution for all of t)(is t)(at doesn’t involve murder!  
VRISKA: Oh? Do tell.  
FEFERI: It’s simple! All we )(ave to do is replace ourselves wit)( some ot)(er g)(osts of us!  
FEFERI: T)(ere’s plenty of dead versions of ourselves, right?

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the abrupt ending oop


End file.
